Dear Future Self

Dear Future Self, 4/19/20

Right now it’s 5pm on a Sunday and you are currently inside, writing to yourself. It’s 5pm because you always spend all your Sundays, sleeping the day away and working on last minute homework. But this Sunday, or rather these past few Sundays, have been different. But not in the way you’re thinking; your glorious Sunday schedule has not changed, In fact it’s the only consistent thing in your life right now. Your world and the rest of the world is changing. Tomorrow marks the one monthiversary since you officially began quarantining. I know, what a call for a celebration. Except you can’t celebrate with anyone but your family. And if this were your birthday you wouldn’t be able to buy a cake because gluten-free bakeries are closed, just like all the other non-essential businesses. So your best bet would be to bake your own. You would also have to cook your own birthday dinner because you can’t get takeout. Everyone else can, it is essential, but it’s risky. What if the person making your chipotle rice bowl had it and didn’t know it? Then you and your entire family could get it, and the last thing you want is your immunosuppressed dad to get it. But your birthday is near the end of June and who knows what the world’s gonna be like then. But who cares about your birthday? Honestly, you barely have anything to worry about other than your dad. In fact, you have it really good right now; you’re safe inside surrounded by your family that unconditionally loves you. Also the global pandemic of complete utter boredom has not infected you yet. You find it very easy to not get bored, whether it’s talking on the phone, procrastinating, sleeping, or annoying your brother. But above all, creating art has always been and currently is your main source of entertainment. So I’m wondering while I’m spending all this time making art, will I come out of quarantine as a better artist? Will my overall creativity, abilities and style improve? I don’t know, but you do. You also know how long I’ll be stuck inside for, and as each day passes I begin to have some regrets. Back in Alfred there was a signature look, these luxurious bags under the eyes, which you sported because you were constantly sleep deprived. You felt every second as it wore you down. You felt like you were being suffocated by assignments, friends, and responsibilities. All you wanted was some time to sleep, so Sundays became your designated hibernation day. And they still are, but now it seems like you are in actual hibernation. So when all of this is over I want you to remember these days of just laying around. Obviously you should still get a good amount of sleep. But also really focus on spending each day not just appreciating what you have, but taking full advantage of it.

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